Hello, my dear, this thought shared with you has as its support the explanation of the need for importance underlined through attitude and, implicitly, through appearance.
The person who needs to underline their position through an outfit of the shirt, jacket and dress-trousers kind — and this does not refer to the position that requires etiquette, or to the meetings that come with it, it refers to everyday life…, that person dresses that way as if in armour, because they are afraid, and they have as a shield of presence… their clothes. It is the same with the model of car that wants to impose…
And so as not to be misunderstood…, I am not talking about being well-groomed. Anyone can be well-groomed, in any way. The difference is not in the garment, it is in constancy…, if you dress the same way every day, whatever that way may be, you are showing who you are…, if your outfit rises exactly when you need to impose yourself, then you have not dressed, you have armed yourself…
There is one more test, and it is simpler…, the well-groomed man can bear a crease, a stain, a worn shoe…, it does not bring him down…, armour can bear nothing, because any crease is a crack in the shield…
In another order of ideas there would be one more thing, which has nothing to do with the cut…: where the person’s attention is. The one who is at ease is busy with something — with what he is working on, with the one he is talking to…, the starchy one is busy with the way he is seen. It shows in the hands…, whoever straightens his jacket, adjusts his knot, pulls at his cuff…, that one is keeping watch over his armour…, whoever is at ease forgets that he is wearing anything. It shows in the sleeves…, a rolled-up sleeve means the garment has been fitted to the man…, whoever stays all day exactly as the garment came out of the shop has fitted himself to the garment. And it shows at the throat…, the knot tight at the throat is the only piece that really tightens…, whoever wears it out of obligation undoes it the moment the obligation ends…, whoever wears it as a shield stays buttoned up until evening…
Nothing of what I have said so far can be bought…
I would conclude with an aspect that seems to me the best joke armour plays on itself: the suit put on in order to impose has a manufacturing defect…, from three steps away it does not say “look, an important man”, it says “look, a man who was told how to dress”…, that is, exactly the opposite of what you wanted. Whoever chooses, it shows that he chose. Whoever arms himself, looks like a uniform…
I know a man who walks in every day on people who do not know him, who have no reason to listen to him, and from whom he must nevertheless obtain something…, he is, if you like, in a permanent attack…, and he goes about in jeans and a shirt, and in winter with a thick coat over them.
And I know a university professor, whom I met once coming from a course with foreign students, in a suit. I did not recognize him at first…, I told him he looked as if somebody had sent him out dressed like that…, and that if he had also put on the tie, one could no longer tell whether he was giving the lecture or bringing the coffee at the break. He was offended, naturally…
He explained to me that he wanted to be protocolary with the foreign students. I told him that the value is not in the etiquette, but in the way you approach them, in how you teach, in how simply you explain…, and I asked him how he thinks anyone is going to take part interactively when the man at the lectern walks in dressed as if for a board meeting…
But the question worth asking is a different one, and a shorter one: who was the suit for? He had nobody to convince. He taught, and he was also the one who gave the grade. Power he already had, all of it. The other one, who has to convince from zero at every door, does not feel the need for a jacket…, he, who had nobody to convince, felt it…
That is the difference, and it is not in the garment: it is in the need. Armour appears exactly where there is no need of it, because it does not protect you from the others…, it protects you from yourself…
The same thing I could say when people use “precious” words, not because they are familiar with them, but because they feel the need to underline their value…, and this is evident from the context seen as a whole: for the most part they talk like sailors and only very rarely use words (terms) that throw you off balance when they come out of those persons…, if they were constant in decent expression, with metaphors, with “rare” words, that would be their particularity…, but when they use them in moments when they want to impose themselves, or feel cornered…, then it is defence disguised as attack (elevated)…, the elevated is simulated…, in order to build a “safety” distance…
And to be honest to the end…, I laughed back then, and only much later did I see that my joke was also a way of placing myself above…, that is, exactly the thing I was reproaching him with. My armour is not bought in a shop, but that does not make it any less armour…
A man’s worth is not in what he wears, nor in what position he holds, nor in how many listen to him because they are obliged to…, it is in how much he is able to educate himself, regardless of circumstances. That is not visible from three steps away…, and it cannot be borrowed from anywhere…
I am not trying to convince you. But if you have a measure of your own, I would like to hear it…